Getting hitched, Victorian Style

Wedding ceremonies are different depending on the preferences and fortunes of those involved. There are no specific directions to follow. However, those that will be married by ministers should first study the form of weddings their church follows.



The Episcopalians have their “Book of Common Prayer”, the Methodists have their “Book of Discipline” and the Catholics have certain rituals. The wedding rehearsal is normally made in private but it is required if the couples will be wed by a magistrate. The most number of ceremonies occur in Catholic and Episcopal weddings but these are normally the most impressive.



The Victorian Wedding



ATTIRE: Victorian weddings are filled with ruffles, bows and lace. Guests should consider wearing an antique dress a lace cap or headpiece, which can be purchased from the ladies at Greystone Gardens. For a morning wedding, the men should wear a morning dress and a tailcoat for an evening wedding. A top hat is also a nice option.



MENU: A formal Victorian wedding should follow the guidelines for a traditional formal wedding. For an informal wedding, the ideal setting is the Sunday tea dance with scones, petit fours filled with fresh fruit. The movie The Age of Innocence should be watched for inspiration.



INVITATIONS: The invitation of a formal Victorian wedding should have an attractive embossed border on the edge. The text should be formal or if possible should be engraved. Invitations can also carry the couple’s favorite Victorian love poem.



FAVORS: A cracker popular during holiday time is good option for a Victorian wedding. These things were invented during the Victorian era and snap when opened. These can be filled with a trinket based on personality and budget. A folding fan printed with a nice poem and wedding date can be used in a daytime wedding.



FLOWERS: The flowers play a very important role in a Victorian wedding. A tussy mussy is a good option. The flower girls can carry pomanders.



PROPER ETTIQUETTE IN A VICTORIAN WEDDING



Weddings regardless if its Victorian or not follow a certain etiquette in order to make the ceremony flow seamlessly.



- Bridesmaids and groomsmen should perform certain responsibilities in the ceremony if the wedding is not strictly private.



- The bride should be older than her bridesmaids and their outfits should match. However, the wedding gown should obviously look more expensive but the dresses of the bridesmaids can have more ornaments. The dresses should be composed of graceful, light material. The flowers should serve as the principal decoration.



- The wedding gown should exude simplicity but can be worn with few ornaments or jewelry, which come from the parents or bridegroom. The garland and veil should be the most eye-catching in the dress.



- The bridesmaids should assist the bride in wearing her wedding gown and receiving guests. They should also stand at her left side during the ceremony. The bouquet and gloves should be held by the first bridesmaid.



- The placing of the bridesmaids should not be much of a concern but those conscious with symmetry should consider putting the tallest to the smallest from the couple. However, any order should be suffice. A bridesmaid can be paired with a groomsman who has the same height.



- The groomsmen are primarily designated to receive the clergyman, lead him to the couple that will be married and stand in the right side of the bridegroom during the ceremony.



CEREMONY IN CHURCH



The etiquette in a Victorian church wedding sees the bride entering from the left side with her father followed by the bridesmaids or more common, as single bridesmaid. The groom enters from the right and is trailed by his attendants. Behind are the parents, while the attendants stand from either side.



The bride should make sure that her glove can be easily removed, while the groom should be certain that ring is placed where he can easily find it to avoid being embarrassed or delaying the ceremony.



ETTIQUETTE IN EXITING THE CHURCH



The newly-married couple holds each others arm when they depart from the church. A reception can be held at home for around two hours attended by intimate friends. A short breakfast can be held before the couple can embark on their bridal tour.

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Wedding Etiquette on Victorian Weddings

Thanks to educated Victorians with their lustrous names, intelligence and writing abilities, they have passed on to us what a mannered person should do in all social situations. In the 1870's to 1880's there were at more than sixty (60) etiquette books that were published of which includes Victorian wedding etiquette. These Victorian wedding etiquettes became popular before and are still popular in these days.



Victorian wedding etiquette focuses on manners, culture and dress before, during and after the wedding ceremony and reception. Victorians also have etiquette rules on courtship and engagement.



Victorian Wedding Etiquette on Marriage Ceremony



For Victorians, the marriage ceremony varies with the fortunes, desires and wishes of the wedding parties. According to Victorian Wedding Etiquette, a bride and couple may have a very lavish and expensive wedding if they can afford it or they can have a small gathering of closest family and friends celebrating the wedding with them.



As to the form of right, Victorians have no specific directions as to how the wedding rite should be done, but they should follow rules of their churches of the proper wedding rite.



Victorians who are to be married by their ministers, wedding etiquette calls them to study the form or proper wedding rite of their particular church. For Victorians who will be married in a Methodist church should study Book of Discipline. Episcopalian Victorians, on the other hand should read the Book of Common Prayer. Catholic Victorians are invoked to know the basic Ritual in a Catholic Wedding Celebration.



In Victorian wedding etiquette, couples must do wedding rehearsals. The rehearsal of the ceremony is always made in private. Victorians believe that with this way, the bride and groom and the wedding parties could understand better the necessary forms and rites.



-- Victorian Wedding Etiquette General Rules



Victorians have general rules in wedding etiquette. They are interesting to learn and to note especially if you are planning to have a Victorina wedding theme.



Bridesmaids and groomsmen are expected to assist in the preparation of the wedding and even during the wedding especially if the wedding is not private. Wealthy Victorians held weddings for public and with many guests that were expected to attend (even from nearby towns), the hired help won't be able to accommodate the guests.



Although this seems funny nowadays, but Victorian wedding etiquette is clear on this matter: bridesmaids should be younger, yes you read it right, younger than the bride. If you have an older sister who you love you dearly, you won't be able to make her a bridesmaid if you were born during the time of the Victorians.



Victorian wedding etiquette on bridesmaids clothing is also peculiar. Bridesmaids should wear dresses that look like that of the bride. It was believed before (even before the time of the Victorians) that a devil is on the loose everytime there is a wedding. This devil is tasked to kidnap the bride, take her away from her groom, and take her virginity from her. So, bridesmaids are selected, those that look like the bride, younger or of her age, and must dress the way she dresses so as to confuse the devil who should be taken.



The material for bridesmaids wedding dresses are usually light and flowing fabric that allows graceful gait, and must have lots of ornament. Dresses should not be necessarily expensive.



The bridesmaids should assist the bride (thus the name brides' MAID) in dressing her, receiving company, holding her things, etc. They should stand at the brides left side, with the first bridesmaid or the maid of honor holding the gloves and bouquet.



As for the groomsmen, he should receive the clergyman and present to him the couple to be married. The first groomsman or the best man should stand upon the right side of the groom during the ceremony.



Victorian wedding etiquette has not been changed much. They are still the basic wedding etiquette that we have today. We can follow Victorian wedding etiquette's general rule as is without looking or making ourselves outrageous. Some of victorian wedding etiquette are just bent a bit, such as a wedding dress, to accommodate the wishes and desires of the bride or the groom or of a relative special to the hearts of the couple.

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